![]() Too many changes at once can unsettle children. But by taking your time, you give everyone a chance to get used to each other, and to the idea of marriage and forming a new family. Planning your blended familyĪfter having survived a painful divorce or separation and then managed to find a new loving relationship, the temptation can often be to rush into remarriage and a blended family without first laying solid foundations. To give yourself the best chance of success in creating a blended family, it's important to start planning how the new family will function before the marriage even takes place. After a few years of being blended, hopefully the family will grow and members will choose to spend more time together and feel closer to one another. Family members need to understand and honor those differences. They may also be at different stages in accepting this new family. Members of your blended family may be at various life stages and have different needs (teens versus toddlers, for example). Compassion for everyone's development.Respect should be given not just based on age, but also based on the fact that you are all family members now. This is not just referring to the kids' behavior toward the adults. If family members can act civil towards one another on a regular basis rather than ignoring, purposely trying to hurt, or completely withdrawing from each other, you're on track. You'll have to grow and mature into the marriage while parenting. It's harder to take care of the marriage in a blended family because you don't have the time to adjust as a couple like in most first marriages. Without the marriage, there is no family. Instead, embrace the differences and consider the basic elements that make a successful blended family: Trying to make a blended family a replica of your first family, or the ideal nuclear family, can often set family members up for confusion, frustration, and disappointment. No matter how strained or difficult things seem at first, with open communication, mutual respect, and plenty of love and patience, you can develop a close bond with your new stepchildren and form an affectionate and successful blended family. While blending families is rarely easy, these tips can help your new family work through the growing pains. Some children may resist changes, while you as a parent can become frustrated when your new family doesn’t function in the same way as your previous one. They'll also be worried about living with new stepsiblings, whom they may not know well, or worse, ones they may not even like. They'll likely feel uncertain about the upcoming changes and how they will affect relationships with their natural parents. ![]() While you as parents are likely to approach remarriage and a new family with great joy and expectation, your kids or your new spouse's kids may not be nearly as excited. ![]() The process of forming a new, blended family can be both a rewarding and challenging experience. A blended family or stepfamily forms when you and your partner make a life together with the children from one or both of your previous relationships.
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